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“butyourenotaoods,”
rodneypersisted.“youuldnthaveacceptedifyou
hadntloved”hecried.
asenseofheroisbehavior,hshehadsucceeded
inkeepingfroerbysharpeninghernsciousness
ofrodneysfaults,noost
overedher.parisonh
thefactthathecaredforheruesin
parison
inaflashthenviost
sinofallstaeditselfuponherinstthought;and
shefeltherselfbrandedforever.
hehadtakenherarandheldherhandfiryinhis,
norhadshetheforcetoresistedtoher
208
virginiawoolf
hisenoruslysuperith.verywell;shewould
subt,ashertherandherauntandsten,
perhaps,hadsubtted;ashekevery
sendofsuchsubssiontohisstrengthond
oftrea.
“ididsayiarryyou,butitwaswrong,”she
forasifto
aheseengsubssionofthatseparatepart
ofher;“foridontloveyou,;youvenoticedit,
everyoicedit;ending
oldyouilovedyou,ii
krue.”
asnoneofheredtoheratalladequateto
represent,andehasized
theght
haveuponaely
takenabackbyfindingheraruddenlydropped;then
shesaoststraorted;washelaughing,
itflashedaontshesaw
thatheentatthisapparition
shestoodaghastforasend.hadesperate
sethishorrorst,atallsts,bestopped,she
thenputherarabouthidreont
uponhershoulder,andledhin,rringwordsof
nsolation,untilheheavedagreatsigh.theyheldfast
toeachother;hertears,too,randoheeks;and
hquitesilent.notigthedifficultyhh
heeextrelassitudeinher
obs,sheproposedthattheyshouldrestforant
hebrah
anoaktree.heassented.avea
greatsigh,andhachildlikeunnsciousness,
aospeakhoutatraceofhis
previousaheideacatoherthattheywerelike
thechildreninthefairytaleinawood,
andiicedthescatteringof
deadleavesallroundthee
oheaps,afootorthere.
“ofeelthis,katharine”hesaid;
“foritisnttruetosaythatyouvealit
ihefirstnighthat
yourclotheshadbeebehind.still,hefault
209
nightandday
inthatiuldproseyouointerferehyour
itiairs
hhenry.perhapsishotooopenly.but
thatsnotunreasoherwhenonesengaged.ask
yourther.andnohisterriblething”hebrokeoff,
uhenttoproceedanyfurther.“thisdecision
yousayyouveetohaveyoudiscussedit
other,forexale,orhenry”
“no,no,ofursenot,”shesaid,stirringtheleavesh
herhand.“butyoudontuand,”
“helptouandyou”
“youdontuand,ian,realfeelings;how
uldyouiveonlynoself.butihavent
gotthesortoffeelinglove,ianidontkno
tocallit”shelookedvaguelytohehorizonsunk
u”but,anyhewould
beafarce”
“hothiskindofanalysisis
disastrous”heexclaid.
“ishouldhavedobefore,”shesaidglooly.
“youkeyourselfthinkthingsyoudontthink,”he
ntinued,beirativehhishands,as
hisharine,beforee
herelyhappy.youwerefullofplansfor
ourhousetheeerlike
anyotheranarried.now,foo
reasonever,youbegintofretaboutyourfeeling
andaboutfeeling,htheusualresult.iassureyou,
katharine,ivebeenthroughitallself.atoii
yselfabsurdquestionse
tonothiher.youaysayso,is
sooccupationtotakeyououtofyourselfhis
rbidodeson.ifithadntbeenforpoetry,i
assureyou,ishouldoftenhavebeenverythe
sastateself.toletyouintoasecret,”hentinued,
ost
assured,“iveoftengonehofroeeingyouinsucha
stateofhatihadtoforceselftoeapage
ortyhead.askdenha
helltellyouhoetonenight;helltellyou
astatehefoundin.”
kathariartedentionof
210
virginiawoolf
ralphsna.thethoughtoftheioninh
hernducthadbeendeasubjectfordiscussionh
denhaousedheranger;but,assheinstantlyfelt,she
hadscarcelytherightteanyuseofher
na,seeinghadbeenfrobr >
firsttolast.adenhahehadavieasa
judge.shefiguredhitelyancesofher
levityinthissinine
ralityandgrufflydisssingbothherandherfaly
ehalfsarcastic,halftolerantphrasehsealed
herdooasfarasheonceed,forever.having
thiolately,thesenseofhischaracterrong
ihethoughtapleasantoneforaproud
an,butshehadyettoleatheartofsubduingher
expression.hereyesfixedupontheground,herbrows
draaveryfairpictureofthe
resentntthatsheontrol.acertain
degreeofapprehension,oinatingin
akindoffear,hadaleredintohisloveforher,
andhadincreased,rathertohissurprise,inthegreater
i.behhersteady,ex
elarysurfaaveinofpassioo
hiopletelyirrational,foritnever
tookthenorlandhis
doings;and,indeed,healstpreferredthesteadygood
sense,arkedtheirrela
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