栗子小说 m.lizi.tw栗子小说 m.lizi.tw栗子小说 m.lizi.twinnflicthhis,andtobe
certainthathesparedherfelejudgntnoounceof
hislescularity.heseedtueasfiercelyh
herasifsheher.theywerealike,however,
inbelievingthatitbehoovedtheotakeinhandthe
repairaruofthefabrifengland.they
agreedinthinkingthatnaturehasnotbeengenerousin
theendoofouruncilors.theyagreed,unnsciously,
inatelovefortheddyfieldthroughh
theytraed,heyesnarroheration
oftheirnds.atlengththeydreh,let
thearguntflyaboofunts,
and,leaningate,opeheireyesfor
thefirsttiandlookedaboutthetheirfeettingled
bloodandtheirbreathroseinstearound
thethebodilyexeroredirect
andlessselfnsary,indeed,
ebyasortoflightheadednessade
itseeoherthatittteredverylittlehappened
.ittteredsolittle,ihatshefeltherself
187
nightandday
onthepointofsayingtoralph:
“iloveyou;ishallneverloveanybodyelse.rry
orleave;thinkeidontcarea
straont,hoed
iaterial,andsherelyclappedherhandstogether,
andlookedatthedistant
ontheirbrohegreenandbluelandscapethrough
thesteafheroedaretossup
hershesaid,“iloveyou,”orhershesaid,“i
lovethebeechtrees,”oronly“iloveilove.”
“doyouknoary,”ralphsuddenlyinterruptedher,
“ivedeupnd.”
herindifferehavebeensuperficial,foritdisappeared
atondeed,shelostsightofthetrees,and
saostbarofthegateh
extredistiness,on:
“ivedeupndtochuckworkandlivedown
here.ieaboutthatttageyouspoke
of.hoherellbenodifficultyaboutgetting
attage,ption
of.
shestilltontinue;shewas
nvihatinsoroundabouthed
thesubjearriage.
“itstandtheoffiylonger,”heproceeded.“i
dontknoyfalysureiight.
dontyouthinkso”
“livedownherebyyourself”sheasked.
“sooldane,isuppose,”hereplied.
“iickofthehing,”heon,and
opehegatehajerk.theybegantocrossthe
fieldwalkingsidebyside.
“itellyou,ry,itsutterdestru,waway,
dayafterday,atstuffthatdoesnttteradatoany
one.ivestoodeightyearsofit,andiotgoingto
standitanylonger.isupposethisallseetoyoud,
though”
bythistiryhadreveredherselfntrol.
“no.ithoughtyouhappy,”shesaid.
“hinkthat”heasked,esurprise.
“dontyoureerthatinginlinlnsinn
188
virginiawoolf
fields”sheasked.
“yes,”saidralph,slainghispadreering
katharineandherehepurpleleaves
staedintothepath,theepaperradiantuhe
electriclight,andthehopelessosurround
allthesethings.
“yht,ry,”hesaid,ethingofaneffort,
“thoughidontkno.”
sheighttellherthereason
ofhisunhappiness,forhisexcuseshadnotdeceivedher.
“ie
sixfrohatafteoonwhenhe
hadsatupontheeankntghisvisionsdissolve
instasthepastandthesenseof
hisdesolationstilldehihiver.hehadnotrevered
intheleastfrohatdepression.hereunity
fhielffaceit,ashefeltthathe
oughtto;for,bythisti,nodoubt,itental
ghost,betterexorcisedbyruthlessexposureto
sueyeasrys,thanalloounderlieallhis
asandthoughtsashadbeenthecaseeversincehe
firstsaustbegin,
hoentioninghea,andthishefound
itiossibletodo.hepersuadedhielfthatheuld
keaatente;
hepersuadedhielfthathisfeelinghadverylittleto
dohher.
“unhappinessisastateofnd,”hesaid,“byhi
anthatitisnotnecessarilytheresultofanyparticular
cause.”
thisratherstiltedbeginningdidnotpleasehiandit
beoreobvioustohihat,everhe
ghtsay,hisunhappinesshadbeelycausedby
katharine.
“ibegantofindlifeunsatisfactory,”hestarted
afresh.“itseedtoaningless.”hepausedagain,
butfeltthatthis,atanyrate,rue,andthatonthese
linesheuldgoon.
“allthisneykingandenhoursadayin
anoffice,sitforwhenonesaboy,yousee,ones
headissofullofdreathatitdoeser
bitious,youreallright;
189
nightandday
youvegotareasoingon.noyreasonsceased
tosatisfy.perhapsineverhadany.thatsverylikely
hinkofit.reasonisthereforanything,
thoughstill,itsiossible,afteracertainage,
totakeoneselfinsatisfactorily.andiknocarried
on”foodreasonno”i
yfalyandallthatkindof
thing.itogetoninthewasa
lie,ofurseakindofselfglorifiost
people,isuppose,ivelivedalstentirelyangdelusions,
andnoattheaageoffindingit
out.ianotherdelusiontogoonh.thats
unhappinessauntsto,ry.”
therearyverysilentduring
thisspeeddreraightlinesupon
herfathefirstplace,ralphdenontionof
rriage;inthesend,hespeakih.
“idontthinkittofindattage,”shesaid,
ent.
“youvegotalittleney,haventyouyes,”shencluded,
“idontseeshouldntbeaverygoodplan.”
theycrossedthefieldiesilence.ralphwas
surprisedbyherrerkandalittlehurt,a,onthe
selfthatit
possibletolayhiscasetruthfull
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