栗子小说 m.lizi.tw栗子网
www.lizi.tw栗子网
www.lizi.twaboutyou.itis
abouttheotherpeoplearoundyou.stpeopleareso
nselvesandtheiressiontheyare
king,theylosetheiaturalnessandspoy.
alktoanotherperson,fetaboutyourself.
dontbeinglikedorpopular.instead,focus
onkingothersfeellikedandpopular.
chapter34
dont
“killtheball”
thesuendependsreupon
thepurityoftheirheartsthanupontheansoftheiras.
vedas
to“killtheball”isatensyoudo
isoutofposition.youpounce
ontheballandhititsohardthatyouhepoint.
ent,
thatisyougenerallytrytodo.youtrytofindapoint
offactorpositionhoutyouroppo
beingabletorespond.
but,ing,itisutter
115
thepo
dotrytostakeoutaio
thingyouisfortheiontofall“outof
ent
htheotherperson.thenyouareinthe
potentiallydangerouspositionofingtokilltheball
andhit,allyoureffortssofar.
briantoohardtoiress
icsat
ationy.
ispenthoursstudyingandreviewingeverypossible
fathekeyissuesoftheday.ielettersto
theeditorthatajor
neuredasagueston
thentroversialradioshoystuff.
ianyoneed
todiscusstheissuesoftheday.iwaslikeaverbal
zorro,slashingskillfullyatanyoppo,a
friends.thenoneevening,isocialgatheringh
alotofpropeople.heyhered
ingroupstalkingandbanteringbadforth.
knoinateandiversation,
ioagroupofbusinesspeopleiknewand
beganspeakingaboutsothinginthedaysnews.asi
opeh,asifonengla
andthendispersedquicklyinfourdifferentdires,
leavingstandingtherebyself.itwasalesson
ineverfot,andineveragaiouse
verbalproinateaion.
dont“killtheball”
doyoutobehappyht
notterhlyyoufeelorhoulousyou
thinkotherpeoplesideasybe,avoidevei
senseofnflifliaionisacertain
eanyoutbefirnyour
opinions,butdoheideaof
yourtruepurpose,genial,
likable,andapleasuretobearound.inaobe
g.
yourtoolsforgothers
first,beclearaboutyouriinaion:itisto
beg.itisnottopressothers
hyourcleveess.
send,avoidnflictatallsts.itisae
ing
blanceofhostilityintheair.
third,youybepleasantlyfiryouropinions,but
donttrytokilltheball.presentyourpointofviely,
tentatively,aitgo.dontbeesoinvolvedin
being“right”thatyourcharsobscuredinacloudof
argunt.
finally,onlytakeovertheionherpeople
keitclearthattheyyou.hey
askalotofquestionsaboutyou,thatanstheyarest
likelyiedinyou.obligethebutdontriskbeing
aboingontoolong.
estocharrhepoint,ifyouwin
youlose
chapter35
getihe
otherperson
liesbehindusandliesbeforeus
aretinyttersparedtolieshinus.
orisonsarden
tingiseverythingiingthroughtopeople,
espe.asitsaysin
ecclesiastes,“thereisatiforeverypurposeunder
heaven.”yourjobistodeterneis.
haveyouevertriedtotalkhothersonlytofind
yourselfoutofstepoodyoureolandllow;
theyreagitatedanduptight.yourefeelinglifesa
ball;theyredops.
thetptto
118
getiheotherperson
kearytobesupportiveand
reassuring,butnothio.
ont,the
tsandarevingatdifferent
speeds,likeautobilegearsgrinding.
itisthesahpeople.youhavetofindao
shgears,tokesurethatyouaherpersonare
insynatterhoyouare,you
createrapport.
praatg
longbeforetheadventofneurolinguisting
nlp,professionalsusedanagexercisecalled“rr
andtg”toleaitobea
leaderorfolloraiorstoworkin
hars
orbehaviors.forexale,onepersonake
upatuneandhut,aherthe
satuneseenglyattheidenticalti.twopeople
earror
igeofeachother.
stofushavethelatentabilitytoadapttodifferent
typesofpeoplebut,forallkindsofreasons,.
youigie
topeopleexactlylikeyouhoorldwould
bee.itsthereasonnypeoplebeesoinflexible
andjudgntal.ifyoudontdoitthe,ifyou
dohelyasiseeit,thenyourewrong,
unhy,irrelevant.
peopleavoidbeinginflexibleandjudgntal.
theyenjoyseeingthehroughotherseyes
asostfundantal
thepo
sebeingabletoseethehroughtheother
personseyes.
yourtoolsforgothers
theiyouareiion,trythisexercise.
first,nsirrorandtchtheotherpersonor
peopleyouarenversingbylisteningtotheir
speedgtheirbodylanguage.iftheyspeak
rapidly,youtchtheiftheyspeakfairlyslowly,you
dothesa.iftheygestureagreatdeal,soshouldyou.if
theyarerestraiheirgestures,you
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