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send,stobetheirtopiftheday,tryto
seeitfroheirpointofvieile,agree,andoffer
reassurantosayintheirnds,
“iaeryfortableuch
inn.ilar.”endtolikeand
feelateaseintuneandinharny
g.
chapter36
practice
kesperfect
odo,weleabydoing.
aristotle
practiceyoueskillsan.
leaneayfeela
littleaal.itisonly
thesecharkillsiionshrealpeoplethatyou
leatheothepointesendnature.
itisnotenoughthattheplayersonafootballteabr >
andleaandpracticetheplays.itstheexperience
theyget,gaafterga,thatallotodevelop
nditionedreflexes.
121
thepo
ketheseskillsautotic
asyoupractidrepeattheseteiques,youatically
prograhebehaviorsofbeingginto
yoursubnsind.ithentakeoverandthese
teiquesurallyandeasily.thatsbeen
oalfrohebeginning.
youveseentherationandeffortinababy
leaingtoorideabicycle,oran
adultleaingtoplaygolforsquaredanatic,
doitbythenuersrepetitionalloany
things.
puter,sautotically
eintooperation.iftheres
alreadyinstallediersry,justlikethey
areinstalledinyoursubnscious,thenyoudhaveablank
sandablanknd.
yourtoolsforgothers
practiceeveryskillyouveleaedsofaroneveryoccasion.
foe.usetheskillsofcharbr >
ily,friends,neances,andpeople
youhduringtheday.practicehe
experieningin
alsteveryhuion.
treateaeetlikealliondollarcustor,
likethestiortantpersonintheworld.whenyou
approafeelwonderful
abouttheelves.theypletely
g.
chapter37
translateskill
intoart
doyouseeanskillfulinhisandbeforekings.
proverbs22:29
onceyouhavealltheteiquesocreate
itntsthat
you.itisheseattitudesare
addedtoyourlistening,looking,andspeakingabilities
thatyourselves
ahe“art”ofchar
123
thepo
yourtoolsforgothers
blendallyourabilitiestogetherintotheart
ofchary
inrporatititudesintoyourlisteningand
speakinghabits.thesearethetntsthatwillbring
pleasuretoyouandothers:
.resolvetobepleasantandpleasingheachperson
youet.
.resolvetobegraatter
isgoingon.
.resolvetobeental.
.resolvetobequiileandquicktopraise.
paradoxically,itisonlytheotherperson
aheadofyouthatyouendupaheadyourself.
chapter38
nowyou
havetodoit
thereisnosubstitutefortalent.industryand
allthevirtuesareofnoavail.
aldoushuxley
alingachtoldoneofhisathletes,“youhave
realtalentandyouhatsgreat.
hotobeatopler,yousof
experience.”ifyoutobeatopathlete,is
notexperienditioningisnotexperiendtraining
isnotexperieheyareore.
theachhatonlybygoingoutthereand
petitivelyhisathletegainexperience.
thesathoughtappliestonearlyeverythingwedo.
thinkingaboutitisntdoingit.gettingreadyisntdoingit.
125
thepo
practigitisntdoingit.visualizingitisntdoingit.
doingitisdoingittheresnootherallthe
seairosothatyouacteffortlesslyandnaturally,
youhavetodosothingoverandainunder
reallifecirtilyoudohinkabout
itaheseingatyourbestistondition
yourndshlythatyourbehaviorsand
responsesareeasyandautotic.
youhavetodoalotofg.
yourtoolsforgothers
visualizeyourselfinasocialorbusinesssituation,andsee
yourselfasrelaxed,genial,,friendly,andg.
igineyouareexertingyouranotherperson
andtheyareslingandenjoyingyourpany.
affirtoyourselfregularly,“iapletely
eyousaythesee
antaligeofyourselfganotherperson
andenjoyingit.
finally,traoursubnsis
oftinually“actasif”youarealass
charr.resolvetoile
exaagifluen
everyoneyoueinntact.allowyour
nditionedreflexestoguidethehaveto
“ke”ithappen,youletithappen.youhavealready
beguntoexperiehepo.noo
believeinyourdenjoyit.
alont.”foragperson,the
onlytiisnoe,”no“torrow,”
no“illtryagain.”youingwhenyouare
fullyfo
dasssaid,“beherenow”
chapter39
rollout
thecharbr >
halftheposedofpeoplewhohave
sothingtosayandt,aherhalfwhohave
nothingtosayandkeeponsayingit.
robertfrost
yourabilitytocharthershecherryon
theparfait,socially,ahebank,professionally.
thinkoftheenorusvalueyouequired
charkenew
friendseasily,bethepersoneveryoalkto
ataparty,delightyourfriendsandfaly,andcharhe
pantsofftotalstrangers.
127
thepo
thekeytoadva
inthebusinessagiheadvantages
yourcharkillsakeresales
tocustorsyou.youwill
iatereeffectively,buyingatloesandselling
athigherprices.
yourpa
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