栗子网
www.lizi.tw小说站
www.xsz.tw台湾小说网
www.192.tw,“itsnotyousaid;
itsyourtoneofvoice.”
yourtoolsforgothers
introducevodverbalaoentsintoyour
everydayions,especiallyhe
phone.usevocalreassurances,orbasids,whenyou
dontairal
onasubjecludereverbals,thosespecific
ent,toshowyouagree
handsupportthespeaker.
chapter18
practicebeing
gh
friends
treatyourfriendsasyoudoyourpictures,
andplacethentheirbestlight.
jenniechurchill
youvehearditsaidthat“practicekesperfect.”
thetruthisthatierfectpracticekesperfect.
youstbeakeafeistakes,andfeelabit
aes,ifyoingtosteranyskill,
espe.theruleisthatanythingh
doinghdoingpoorlyatfirst.
todevelopyourcharuotientbybringingallyour
63
thepo
nicationskillstogether,youshouldaskafriendto
helpyou.thinkofthispersonasyoursparringpartner,
youkestakesbeforeyougetintothe
aunication.this
typeofpractibebothofyou.
beginbyexplainingyouaretryingtodo.explain
toyourfrieasof
listeninginbeingagionalist.
duringthisexercise,yourfriendshouldbeseatedin
frontofyou,asthoughyouarehavingacupofffee
together.yoingtotrytoreacttoyourfriendsion
houttalkingbackjustbylistening.then
youllbeaskingyourpartnerforfeedbahouch
youseedtobeinvolved.askyourfriendtoavoidasking
questionsbutrathertotalktoyouatlength,aboutanything
thatestond,ratherlikedeliveringanologue.
alsopointout,attheverystart,thatyouareserious
aboutleaingtheselisteningskillsanditwouldhelpyou
alotifthereras,when
practigthisexercise.hereswhy.
ronontakinglisteningskillsseriously
severalyearsagoea
sangoinkalinsouthafrica.thatsthe
zuluequivalentofasharainingwaslongand
arduousandtookplaceoverthreeyears.becausewe
livedinsandiegoforsixnthseachyear,shewas
givenperssiontodividehertrainingintothreenth
sessions.thesolenditionhatiwouldhelpher
ntirainingafrica.
theexercisethatilarto
practicebeingghfriends
“tuchreserious.itwas
desigeachhertotrusthersensesandintuitionso
thatsheuld“see”indseye.
thesilaritytotheparlanohelessstruck
soyfunnybone.ibeganbyasking,“is
itbiggerthanabreadbox”nickylaughedandsaid,
“thatsfunny,butpleasestaround.”
takinghensaid,“isitsllerthanabreadbox”
ishouldhaveknoter.ihaveneverexperienced
arooeraturedroppedsoradically
andrapidly.talkaboutbeingfrosted.butileaed
thislesson:ifyouagreetohelpanotherpersonpractice
sothihatifitsseriousforoshould
beseriousforbothofyou.
yourtoolsforgothers
hafriend,practiceeyentact,eyeflicks,headtilts,
bodyines,headnods,andvodverbalreassurances.
trythei,instagese.g.,first,eyentact,
flicks,andheadnodsandtilts;send,vodverbal
reassurahird,bodyines.
youyhaveteafeicesessionstorun
througheachteiquethhly,butonceyoufeel
youvegotthehangofthendividually,youput
thelltogether.
afterthreeorfouropandaskyourhelperquestions
suchas:
didiappeartobereallylistening
didiseeobe“i”
didyoufeelasthoughicaredaboutyouwere
talkingabout
thepo
didiseeotallyinvolvedhyou
iftheresponseislessthahusiastic,tryagainuntilyetthehangofit.eventuallyyouyto
beaivelistenerandyoullhaveitforlife.youwill
beabletokeeaeetfeelgoodabouthibr >
orherself,andfeelinggoodisisallabout.
chapter19
becareful
hadvice
thepropensitytogiveadviceisuniversal.butdontworry;
thepropensitytoigisalsouniversal.
briantracy
inchapter18youpractiexercisewhereyouhad
toreacttoafriendsionhouttalking
backjustbylistening.her
pointabouthoopracticeatteening.
67
thepo
rononbeingapatientlistener
nyyearsago,ehavingdinner.
sheobviouslyhadfacedaprettyheavydayatthe
offidightaboutthedaysevents.shebegan
totellabouttheinsandoutsofaproblehewas
havingeerofherstaff.shebeganquitecaly
butsoondevelopedahighheadofsteaasshe
spoke,herangerseedtofeedonitselfandshe
beoreinsed.
unfortunately,ireallygorlisteningtoher.
brainthat
hadjustpoppedintoheadand,unfortunately,straight
outofuth.“look,ifyouhadgiveheopportunity
torrectherstake,ybe”
sheinterrupted,“areyoutalkingaboutareyou
sayingityfault”
“well,no,i.
“whoaskedyou”sheyelled.“whoaskedyouallied
youtodoolistenandnodyourheadaupleof
tis.”
“butioohelp.”
“youhelpbykeepingyouropinionstoyourselfand
listening,”shesaid.“idontso
angry.nobodysadviceheyrethatangry”
shenobodydoes
theralofthisstoryisthatnoodyou
thinkyouvebeeindisplayinggbehavior,
beingapatient
listehegluethatholdsallyourskills
becarefulhadvice
together.yourattentivesilene
denstratesyouri,patiendg.
yourtoolsforgothers
theisoooyouor
difficultchoice,tuitaroundandask,“doyou
thinkyoushoulddo”andthenlistenpatientlyhout
interrupting.
ifaanasksanforhisopinionabouttowear,
shehasusuallydeupher
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