台湾小说网
www.192.tw栗子网
www.lizi.tw台湾小说网
www.192.twuoofaraway;
ifthepersooeaseayou,thenyouare
invadinghisorherfortcircle.
theunication
igihreericcircles,hyouastheter
point.thefirstcircleisabouttyoutothe
otherperson.thisisthepersonalorintitespace,
reservedforronticpartnersandfalyers.ifyou
ihisspaceasabusinessorsocialacquaintance,you
aketheotherpersondistinctlyunfortable.
yourereaislikelytobethatthepersonistryingto
intidateyoubygetting“inyourface.”
thesendcircleistyouand
isthespaceappropriateforsocialorbusinessacquaintances.
ostand,sit,and
talkhinthisdistanocloserandnofartheraway.
thethirdcircleisfroightortehis
isthecircleofprotecteddistanceorsafety,usedbetween
thepo
yourselfandstrangers.anysuddebysoone
youdontknothisspatoyoursocialspace,
closerthafeet,ealertand
aware.
roablishingafortzone
alsareespeciallycarefulaboutkeepingtheir
fortcirclesintact.yed
nabia,ohespecialplacestogotoape
crossontheskeletonast.hatatany
giventitherearebetween250,000and350,000
sealsbaskingonthebeainginthesea.
hthebeachesliterallycarpetedhsealsasfarasyou
uldseeignthestench,iting
experien.asoved
to,theyvedaopped;they
stopped.ovedaupleofpaces;theyvedauple
ofpaces.theyhada“fortzohathadtobe
observed.thesaistrueforpeople:toocloseandwe
intrude,eveen.toofarandacy.
speakhyourbody
heryouarestandingorsitting,ely
tosayhyourbody,“ithinkyouaresayingis
srizing,”leaninorveslightlyakesure
youdontintrudeintothefortcircle.
inoneveryfunnyepisodeofseinfeld,jerryrefersto
elaiestdateasa“closetalker.”alksto
anyoandssoclosethattheotherpersonliterally
bendsbackryingtoavoidhisfacebeingintheirface.
thiskindofpersonistryingtoohardandesoffas
aggressiveandiive.
thefifthsignal:wholebodylanguage
yourtoolsforgothers
theiyourespeakingeouyour
ivethepersonyour
pleteattention.
ifyouaresittiohepersonasifyouare
hangingoneveryouthandeyes,gently
“flioheother
ening.tryleaningslightlyforher
thansittinguprightorleaningbackrossyour
legs,dosohyourtoplegandkneepointingtohe
otherperson.
akesureyouareintaininga
fortabledistaheotherperson.
facethepersoly,standtofourfeetaway,and
shiftyhtlyforotheballsofyour
feet.thisventperceptibletotheotherperson,
buthehatyouarefullyengagedh
heissaying.rendyourselfbysayingtoyourself,
“energyforward”
aluedtoheperson
speaking.
unfoldyouraranduseyourhandsinanitedfashion
whenyouspeak.
ifpeoplearesayingsothingthatisiortantnifit,
leanalittlefartherin.iftheysaysothingasing,
relaxbysittingorleaningbackalittle.thenveba
oreiy.
allofthesesignalssuggestthatyouarefasatedby
thepeopleyouaretalkingtoaresaying.theseteiques
aketheeelheywillloveyou
forit.
chapter15
thesixthsignal:
bodylanguageto
avoid
friendshipisastrongandhabitualinationintwopersons
toprotethegoodandhappinessofoher.
eustacebudgell
justaspositivebodylanguagedraticallyincreases
your“charuotient,”therearecertainbodypositions
thataffectpeopleiiveanypoorlisteners
areguiltyoftheyouyientlybeusingthese
undesirablepositionsyourself.ifso,youto
avoidthesecharustersiure.
54
thesixthsignal:bodylanguagetoavoid
poorlistenerskethestakeoftuingtheirheads
toheyarespeaking,butallowing
theirbodytobeinedathespeaker.thissuggests
thatyoudontreallycareaboutthepersonis
saying,butyourepretendingthatyoudo.
poorlistenerssiththeirlegscrossedsothattheir
toplegandkneepointsathespeaker,thereby
appearingtoselvesofftothessage.
aivessagethatdestroysanyceof
yourbeinggispinyourchair,asif
youthe
speaker.ohebestouhisivetendency
istositupstraightandnotallootouch
thebackofthechair.
oftenpeoplekethestakeoffoldingtheirar
heyarelistening.thespeakerviehispostureas
asheissaying.youavoid
thisbykingsurethatyourarareunfoldedandyour
handsareopen,tosignalhoy,siy,andgenuine
i.
observethebehaviorofothers.whenyouseeoneor
reoftheseivesignals,thelisteellingyouat
anunnsciouslevelthatheiseitheotiedin
youaresaying,orheispletelyopposedtoit.inpersonal
relationships,especiallyatho,thesentrarysignals
yindicatethattheotherpersonisagitatedabout
sothingelseandotpayattentiontoyouuntilthat
issueisresolved.
dr.alberthrabianofuductedasenal
studyofnieyearsagoandncluded
that,iofaversation,yourbodylanguagenveys
55peressageyouaresending.yourtone
ofvoiessage,and
thepo
theselvesareresponsibleforonly7pert.it
isazinghohersreadyourbodylanguage
anddrayou,eveniftheyarei.
thatsustalyouare
sayingbytheionyourbodyiion.
ittusoutthatelyresensit
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