栗子小说 m.lizi.tw栗子小说 m.lizi.tw栗子网
www.lizi.twrilsoflosiact
inearlyaytrainingihada
fenginstructorstanleyghan.hewasafine
teaan.but
onhisteaghatheerror.ideyouifyou
alloostrayingor
denstratingaparryorthrust.ingly
attachedto,he
lytakeyourjahe
bonesinyourjaedtobecraguhepressure,
heand
gentlysay,“lookatspeakingtoyou
please”iproseyou,afteraupleofthoserenders,
ialwaysdid.
lookdirectlyatthespeaker
kedirecteyentact.thatsthebasiceoplewill
knooreeyentactyougive,
thereinvolvedyousee
thepo
houcheyentactisrightening,
thereisnosuuch:ideally,itshouldbea
hundredpert.ifyoulookaoooftenorfortoolong,
youostcertainlytriggeegativereasinthe
otherperson,b,hedoesnt
like,”or“shesnotiedinihavetosay.”
notonepositivethoughtiscreatedbypooreyentact.
foryoutobeperustpractice
excelleaing.
yourtoolsforgothers
iion,practicestaying“inthe
nt.”ust“be
there.”inuteoranhourhthe
otherperson,disaintotallyfocused
onthenoingifyourenotthere.
resolvetodevelopthehabitofusingdirecteyentact
eniasocialorbusinessoccasion
oyou.astheyarespeaking,
kesurethatyoureyesarelookingintotheireyes,not
thebridgesoftheioses,theirforeheads,orbeyondtheir
leftears.focusyourattention.trynottoalloras.
doedtosuttherooookingfor
reiortantordesirablepany.dohebaror
foodtable.allotentiontobelongto
thentiltheyfinishspeaking.
praeh
yourfalyaseyoufindyourselfpayingclose
attentiontoothersnaturallyandeasily,youythen
vefrooodeyentacttosuperioreyentact
alust”fortheskilledcharr.thisbringsusto
chapter11on“theflick.”
chapter11
thesendsignal:
theflick
thereasonouthisthat
aylistenthereandtalktheless.
zenoofathens,350b.c.
ening,superioreyentact
requiresanadditionalskillthatincreasesthe
naturalnessofyoureyentact.italsohelpstoavoidthe
possibilityofintidationthatinteaproduce.
additionally,itsuggeststhedepthofyourinvolvent
hthepersonandinsheorheissaying.itis
called“theflick.”
pleactofshifting
41
thepo
yazefrohepersoheotherwhile
youarelistening.ifyoutoseetheflia,the
iyouregtelevisionandtheresalove
seans
eyes,tudohesound.asshegazesintohiseyes,
hisoheother.he
e.sheeatriangleofflicks
betakinghereyentactvery
intiteandverysensual.theireyeventtually
tellstheouchtheirndsandfeelingsareactively
engagedheachother.
geeningversusphonylistening
youhaveprobablyexperiehereverseofthistotal
e.soonehasbeenlookingatyouandvery
possiblykingahundredperteyentact,butyou
khe
otherpersonening.he
listeningtoyou.hiseyeshadthatglazed,vatlook,
diatelynfirdyoursuspihe
reallyiedinyouoryouhadtosay.
causedthatvatlookitsthelackofeyeactivity.
thepersonseyesseedtobelockedinoneplace
juststaringatyou.andthelongerhejustsatthere,the
reunfortableandevenangryyoufelt.
veyoureyes
ifyoupeopletoseethatyouarelistening,youreyes
stve.justlikeyousaoreeyeactivity
thereis,thereyouobeinvolved.theless
thesendsignal:theflick
eyeactivity,thelessyouearinvolved,andwhere
thereis
atall.
aperfeent”was
thepresidentialdidateandpoliticalgadfly,rossperot.
herwhenheeaking
orlistening,herarelyvedhiseyes:henever
seedtoblistared.thisglaringabsenceofeye
activityindicatedhensideringanyotheropinions;
heeritofwas
beingsaid:hisndadeup.heerestedonly
inheosay.
yourtoolsforgothers
oheartofproloact,
beginathotopractidleatheteiqueofflig.
theiyourelisteningtosoone,rate
onshiftingyoureyesbadforthbetheireyes
everynohen.dontoverdoit.youdontto
appearasthoughyouvedevelopedaticaftersopractice,
youhavetotrytoflickit
happenbyitself.
ifyouarenceedabouthoenyoushouldflick,just
eoeener.
observepeopleheyareeions
atents,orevenontv.
theheyusetheireyeswillgiveyouagoodsenseof
isappropriate.
eyeflicksareohebestsignalsthattellaspeakerthat
shehascapturedyouri.nouslookatanother
.
chapter12
thethirdsignal:
headtilts
selfnfidenceaddsretoionthan.
larochefoucauld
thetionsyoukehyourbodyandheadexert
aninordinateinflueherpeople.
evendogsknohistrick
ifyouhaveadog,youprobablysotisfeelthatheis
listeningtoyouandthatheuandsyou.thatiswhy
theysaythatadogisfriend.thereisavaluable
less
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