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正文 第5节 文 / [美]博恩·崔西/罗恩·阿登

    栗子网  www.lizi.tw台湾小说网  www.192.tw栗子小说    m.lizi.twquesoflisteningespecially

    ifyouarean.developingthiskeyskillakediscipline

    aernationatfirst,butiteeasy

    andautotiverti.

    listeninghadifference

    effectivelisteninganslisteninghadifferesnot

    the“lendyourearandilltellyouastory”typeoflistening;

    rather,itsaboutnvingpeopleyouaretotally

    involvedinisbeingsaid.

    ronon

    ireeronehe

    hostessofaparty.sheation

    tosooneunfaliarto.,shecrossed

    overtoandsaid,“doyouknot,that

    delightfulnitalkingto”ididnt.“well,hes

    ohestet,and

    agreationalistintelligent,articulate,and

    asingyoustethi

    iniled.“agreationalist,intelligent,

    articulate,andasing,”shesaid.as

    edtoutterrethanawordor

    theiced,agreatlistener.andinso

    being,heabsolutelychardhishostess.

    thegiflistening

    yourtoolsforgothers

    trytheseeffectivelisteningteiqueslistening,pausing,

    askingthoughtfulquestions,andparaphrasingone

    atati.beginbypractigatteeningatho

    andatpttointerrupt.justhangon

    theotherpersonseveryword.

    practitrollinganddiregtheionby

    usingthesevariousteiques.youlldisveryou

    nicateredeeplyinutes

    byaskiionsandlisteningcloselytotheanswers

    thanyouuldinseverale.

    chapter6

    g

    aan

    ifgoddeanythierthanagirl,doverthought,

    hesurekeptittohielf.

    nelsonalgren,ahewildside

    nandenaredifferent,ihan

    theobvious.

    ohestiortantappliisto

    besensitiveandattractivetotheeninyourworld.

    enlovening.theytobeh

    thestantly.

    tobegtoen,youhavetouandhow

    theythinkandfeel.youstthensayanddothethingsthat

    affectthetionallyifyoutolikeyou.

    22

    gaan

    stensprirysourceofpersonalvalueand

    selfesteesfrohequalityoftheirrelationships

    portantpeopleintheirlives.theypla

    evenhigherehasisthannonoute

    andonhoheyareperceivedaedbyothers.

    threedeepneedsofeveryan

    thestpoportaionalneedsofst

    enareaffe,attention,andrespect.theyjudgeother

    peoplebytheir,andbytheir

    nfidendpetehe

    extealappearandlookintotheheartoftheperson

    theyaretalkingto.

    theaanisbybeingtotally,100pert

    captivatedbyherasaperson,andbyeverywordshe

    says,houtinterruptingorstoppingherfloion.

    justastandlookinto

    eachotherseyes,soshouldyouallopletely,

    totallyfasatedbytheanyouaretalkingto

    andyou.

    talkless,listenre

    aedieherapist.i

    gettotalknonstopaboutselfforanhour,justlikean

    onafirstdate.”thisisalltootrue.

    iheiyouareanyoucare

    about,resistthetetationtotalkabout

    yourselfasifyourdayostfasatisince

    jesusheearth.rather,askherquestionsabout

    herselfandherday,aboutherlifeandhernces,and

    thepo

    thenlistelyandatteotheanswers.shewill

    findyoutobeg.

    brianonlisteningaioning

    so,ookanattractive

    younganouttodihroughoutthedinner,i

    askedherquestionsaboutherself.atacertainpoint,she

    openedupandtoldaboutaparticularlysadthingthat

    hadhappeoher.

    iovedbyherpainatrecallingtheeventthati

    sosorrythathappeoyou,”isaid.and

    ireallyantit.inutes

    ojustrelaxin

    prese.

    itygenuine

    nceforherfeelingsandherexperiencecreateda

    poweenus.

    toiressortobeiressed

    eadof

    talkingaboutyourselfandtryingtoiressher,be

    iressedbyher.askherquestionsandtalktoherabout

    herhopesandnces,herbackground,hergoalsand

    desires.talkandlistenasifyoufiobethestfasating

    perso.

    thereyouareiressedbyher,byherideasand

    opinions,heroreibr >

    gaan

    pressedshehyou.sheobe

    absolutelyg.

    yourtoolsforgothers

    seleagine

    thatsheisthestiingandfasatingperson

    youhaveevert.treathereurtesyand

    respect.hangonhereveryionsandlisten

    closelytotheansanenurage

    hertospeakhoutinterruptingortalkingaboutyourself.

    theiyouetaanyoulike,practicethe

    saskillsofacceptance,appreciation,andapproval.askher

    aboutherethingtobe

    iressedabout,oreventobeazedby.thewonderof

    thesebehaviorsisthatthereyoupracticethethe

    reiingandfasatingyourulyfio

    be.andsheing.

    chapter7

    g

    an

    therearethreeenloversof

    ,loversofhonor,lain.

    plato

    naresu,likeputtyinyour

    hands.froongexperienareoften

    suspianing,knowing

    thathe,beingan,yhaveulteriortives.n,on

    theotherhand,areed,if

    youdht.

    heirgreatestsenseofvalueandiortance

    frochievent,status,andtherespectofthekeypeople

    iivatedtho

    26

    gan

    thebanandprovidefortheelvesandtheirfalies.this

    isagea

    ...
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