台湾小说网
www.192.tw小说站
www.xsz.tw小说站
www.xsz.twnkatall.
theryschooldress,and
bsand
trelingjoints,iseedt.it
yndtothroyselfatyourfeet,andtobegyoutokeepasa
id,asaslave.iothelpfeelingafraidthatyouthis
infatuationofagirloffifteen.butyoulaughifyouuldrealisehow
istoodthereonthechillylanding,rigidhapprehension,adrawn
ooliftitselfinspiteof.
thestruggleappearedtolastforeerriblesends;andthenirangthe
bell.theshrillillsoundsinears.itein
yheartybloodstagnated,whilei
listenedfory.
butyoudidnote.havebeenoutthat
afteoon,andjohnsthavebeenaoo.hthedeadhebell
stillsoundinginears,istolebaptydhrew
selfexhaustedup,tiredoutbythefourstepsasifihadbeenwading
throughdeepshthisexhaustioillglohe
deternationtoseeyou,tospeaktoyou,beforetheycarriedaan
assureyouthatthereynd;iillignorant,
justbecauseihoughtofanythingbutyou.alliedoseeyou
oogtoyou.throughoutthatdreadfulnightiedforyou.
directlytherhadgoosleep,icreptintothehalltolistenforyour
retu.itylisached,and
there;soilayuponthefloor,inthe
draughtthatythindressilaythere,houtany
vering.ididnot,lestishouldfallasleepandssyour
footstep.crasseized,soldinthehorribledarkness;againand
againihadtostandup.butiyfate.
atlengthitsthavebeentoihe
housedooropen,andfootstepsoair.thesenseofldvanished,anda
rushofheatpassedover.isoftlyopehedoor,aningtorunout,to
throyselfatyourfeet....iottelly
frenzy.thestepsdreblinglyiheldthe
doorhandle.ingupthestairs
yes,ityoualone.iheardagentlelaugh,
therustleofsilk,andyourvoice,speakinginloan
hyou....
iottellhhtherestofthenight.ateight
ing,theytooktoinnsbruck.ihadnthlefttoresist.
........
boydiedlastnight.ishallbealoneoncere,ifireallyhavetogoon
living.torroene,blackcladandunuth,bringing
affinforthebodyofonlychild.perhapsfriendseas
hhsbutistheuseoffloheywilloffer
nsolationinonephraseoranother.anwords
helpallikerrible
thantobealoneanghunbeings.thatisetorealiseduring
thoseintersixteenthtoeighteenth
year,ypeopleasaprisonerandanoutcast.stepfather,a
quiet,ta,e.ther,asifeagertoatoneforan
uoetallyownage
e.butirepelledtheiradvanceshangry
defiance.ididnot
you;soiburiedselfinaglooentandsolitude.iwould
note.irefusedtogoto
sortothetheatre,anditakepartincheerfulexcursions.i
rarelyleftthehouse.eellyouthatihardlygotto
knoouing
yjoy;irenouncedsocietyandeverypleasure,andoxicatedh
delightatthertificationsithussuperaddedtothelackofseeingyou.
reover,iefroypassionatelongingtolive
onlyforyou.sittingaloho,hourafterhouranddayafterday,idid
nothingbutthinkofyou,tuingoverinndunceasinglyhundred
pettyriesofyou,reaiofing,
rehearsingtheseepisodesiheatreofnd.theuntlessrepetitionsof
theyearsofthedayiolifehaveso
brahedetailsonrythatirecalleveryhose
longpassedyearsasiftheyhadbeenbutyesterday.
thuslifeillentirelytredinyou.iboughtallyourbooks.if
youaentioheerday.will
youbelieveellyouthatihavereadyourbookssooftenthatiknow
theyheartoeinthenightandquoteadetached
sentence,iuldntihepassageunfalterioday,afterthirteen
years.youreverye.theeonlyin
relationshiptoyou.intheviennesenehereportsofs
andfirstnights,ost.whenevening
agination,sayingtoself:“n
thehall;noyfanes,
silybecauseihadonceseenyouata.
thesethingsthetragichopelessnessof
aforsakenchildyadration
orofsorroillachildieen;ieen;young
felloeireet,buttheyonlydeangry.
toloveayou,eventoplayhthethoughtoflovinga
you,possibleto,thattheretenderof
affeaoacri.passionforyou
reinedjustasinteitgedincharacterasbodygrey
sensesaingreardent,rephysiistakably
theloveofagroahoughtsofthe
uninstructedchild,ofthegirlyonly
longing.iyselftoyou.
assoid
...