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feelself.itsunlitedgreat
politicalleadersnurtureit,successfulbusinesspeoplecultivate
it,andfauseainersexploitit.nearlyeveryone
charandanyone
btheladdertosuccessshoulddevelopit.
anytianywhere
ifyouocreatethatspecialfeelingforothers
anyti,anyhinkthat
giftghtbeinyourpersonallifeandyourbusiness
e.whenyouhave
thepoakepeoplefeelspecial,therewardsareusually
closebehind.
thepo
yourtoolsforgothers
decidetodaythatyoingtodevelopthepowerof
dpracticeitinyourrelationshipshothers.
thisdecisionoallthethingsyoudoto
keotherpeoplefeelselves.
asureyourcurrent“charuotient.”giveyourselfa
gradefrootenonhoingyoubelieveyou
arealready,eone
youkhatperson
assignstoyouisthetrue
asure.
noingyourselfintenuinelyandpoingperson.
chapter4
hoo
yone
theydontcarehouchyouknoil
theyknouchyoucare.
louholtz
psychologiststellusthatthereofpersonalityis
selfesteethishasbestbeendefinedas“houch
youlikeyourself.”yourselfesteesthesuotalofhow
iortantandvaluableyoufeelyouareatanynt.
hunbeingsareinteional.theyke
deotionallyandthenjustifytheogically.
peoplearepootionalenvironnt,
especiallythebehaviorofotherpeopleto.
11
thepo
fronfancy,youarenditioobehypersensitive
totheasaionsofyourparentstowardyou.
often,thedynacsoftheseearlyexgessetyouupfor
lifeinyourrelationshipshothers.
alsteverythingyoudoinvolvingothersiseitherto
bolsteryourselfesteeyourinnersenseofwellbeing,or
toproteinishedbyotherpeopleorcirces.
these
thedeepestannatureistheofeel
valuedandvaluable.theseisthereforesile:
keothersfeeliortant.
fiveing
thereiortantyoukepeoplefeelinyourpresence,
theregtheyobe.
fortunately,akepeoplefeelwonderful
abouttheelves.thesekeybehaviorsbesuarized
inthefiveas:airation,
andattention.
1.
acceptahegreatestgiftthatyougiveother
peopleistheattitudeof“unnditionalpositiveregard.”
thatis,youacceptthentheirey,itation.
younevercriticizeorfindfault.youaretotallyaccepting
ofeverythingabouttheasiftheyiracleof
nature.thisisthestartingpointofbeingg.
andhopleteacceptais
sile.yousleilehhappiseeing
people,theirselfesteeusautotically.theyfeel
hoanyone
happyabouttheelves.theyfeeliortantandvaluable.
andtheylikethepersonakihis
ing,evenbeforeyouopen
youruth.
2.
appreciation.ionto
othersforsothingtheyhavedone,slle,their
selfesteenportant.
theyfeelrepetentandcapable.theirself
igeirovesandtheirselfrespectsoars.
andherthishers
itissile.yousay“thankyou”oneveryoccasion,
foranylargeorsllreason.youkeahabitofthanking
everyoneinytheydo.thank
yoursecretaryforherhankyourspouseforhis
help.thankyourchildrenforanythihatyou
appreciate.
hereisthedoublepayoff:ileorsay
thankyoutoanotherperson,notonlydoesthatpersons
selfesteendfeelingofiortanceju,butsodoes
yours.youaoreeverytiyoudoor
sayanythingthatselves
re.
andthereyoulikeyourself,thereyouwillgenuinely
likeandoreyoulikeyourself,
thelessnceedyouheryouare
kingagoodiression,andtherenaturallyg
youe.
3.
approval.itissaidthat“babiesendiefor
it.”throughoutlife,allhunshaveadeepsubnscious
needforapprovaloftheiraents.
noauntofapprovaleversatisfiesf.theneedis
ongoing,liketheneedforfooda.peopleon
thepo
tinuallyseekopportuoexpressapprovalaree
heygo.
perhapsthebestdefinitionofapprovalis“praise.”this
subjeportantthatebacktoitlater.
justreer,herpeoplefor
sothingtheyhavedoheirselfesteeselevated.
theyfeelselves.andtheyfindyou
tobereiing,perceptive,highlylikable,and
extrelyg.
4.
adration.asabrahainlnsaid,“everybody
likesaplint.”ere
plintaboutatrait,possession,oracplishnt,
theyautotiselves.
theyfeelaoheyfeelvaluable
andiortant.theyliketheelvesre,andthey
likeyoure.
plintapersononanarticleofclothing.
plintsoorait,likepunctualityorpersistence.
plintthepersononhavingwonanaward
oraentforsllthingsaswellas
large.alethingtoplint,and
eaething,theotherpersonwilllike
youreandfindyoutobeg.
5.
attention.thisisperhapsthestiortantquality
ofall,andhesubjectofseveralsubsequentchapters.
itisthestpowerfulbehaviorforbuildingself
esteendisthekeytoinstantcharlose
attentiontootherpeople,therevaluableandiortant
theyoretheywilllikeyou.
hoanyone
thesearethefivestpobuilding
toolseverdisvered.asyousterthehroughpractice,
youeohestgandiial
peopleinyoursocialandprofessionalcircle.
yourtool
...